The Dead Character Cafe

Updated: Aug 20, 2019

A Look at What Happens after The End


It’s seven o’clock and the place is hopping. Even dead, Gatsby’s still the life of the party, but Hamlet, too is pretty cool, now that he doesn’t have to deal with the whole step-dad/uncle thing. Romeo’s on the guitar in the background, trying to win back Juliet. She still won’t “speak” to him, not after “what happened.” Finny’s bragging about the stuff back at Devon. His leg has healed up real nice, and his back to playing sports, when he’s not at the Dead Character Café.

The Dead Character Café, the sanctuary to all literary characters, pulled from the pages of their books before their time. Mostly it’s to get the heroes to actually do something. Leslie Burke, in particular, says that Jess would never have built that bridge to Terabithia or made up with his little sister if not for her. She also claims to have brought the most children to tears. It’s a relief for a lot of the villains. The wicked step-mothers swap stories, and complain about the things the poor little good girl did that didn’t make it into the fairy-tale. Some of the characters have really grown, in their time apart from their novels. Arthur Dimmesdale, now that he’s not wreck with guilt about Hester, laughs a lot, he’s even taking up bowling on Tuesdays with a group of side characters taken out in a murder mystery. All three rioters from The Pardoner’s Taleare sulking in the corner,stillupset that all three wanted to kill the other two. Edward Rochester’s wife is there. She’s not as crazy as some might think, not after be locked up for twenty years. Over in the corner, Holden Caulfield’s little brother is sneaking bits of cookies to Old Yeller.

The café is a place where any character, anyone that didn’t make it to the happy ending, can chill, drink a frappe chinos, or some corn-ripe ale. Course, it’s not always a happy place. Sometimes a new character comes in, crying, upset, not sure why he or she couldn’t survive just a little longer. The best at comforting them is Daisy Miller. No one’s death is as pointless as hers (though that was kind of the point), so she’s the best as showing them how their death matters, made the story greater. And if all else fails, Fred Weasley will come by to make them laugh. There’s never too much sorrow in the Dead Character Café. Most of them figure, well, they’re already dead. Why not make the most of the life they’ve got left?

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